The Symphony of Life

My First Concert....

2006-11-25T15:19:00.002+08:00

Well, it's not my first concert but it's my first christian concert.... Concert for God by Hillsong United.... I'm so exited for the concert... Can't believe that I've been to the concert....

My day started out normally.... Going to class, waiting for the bus... But one thing that is different is that i'm thrilled.... It's their first time here and it's mine too.... My first time meeting them in person. I used to listen to their songs and i felt God...

So, i meet my darling in Asia Jaya Station where we went to SIBKL together. First, we went to the workshop... A Sri Lankan... He is kinnda good preacher, i guess... Nevertheless, i enjoyed it soooo much... He talk about leadership and his encounter with some nerds in a wierd place...

Then, the United band come and we have a brief Q&A session.... They look like great people... Great people that do God's will....They look so different from you and me. How i wish one day i'll be like them... Serve God without boundaries....

So, the concert starts... Before that, as usual.... We have to wait outside the hall... From 6 till 7.30pm.... But it is all worth while when you finally went in and know that God will be there... Where God is there to be with you... It is always worth it.

I don't really know if i felt the presence of God... But at certain point when i raise up my hand, it felt warm... Well, it's again maybe me... Ohhh.... and somewhere down in between my chest.... I felt something... Feeling like anxious but it's not in the heart it's somewhere a bit lower... Hahaha.... my imagination again..... It's really nice... Not that loud but nice....

Even though i might not felt God, or maybe i do... Well, all i can say is i know God is there and he hears all my prayer.... He'll answer then somehow.... He'll work his miricles on me, he'll make me a success human in this life and he'll surely save me.... I realise i really love God. He's my everything... He's my friend, he's my breath, he's my father and he's in me....

After everything, we had dinner and went to my darling's house for a night. His mon don't quite like us.... But i get to look at little darling.... I guess that makes it up for that.... Besides... the one that i love is my darling and not his mom.... but really, shouldn't show ppl my bad attitude... should change that... Hehehe.... It'll be gone soon, my bad attitude.... Jesus will take all away.

Talking to Jesus

2006-11-19T13:28:00.000+08:00

I know it may sound absurd to those non christians... but i know we can really talk to God... If i were still a buddhist like i used to, i would say those that say they r talking to god is just talking to themselves... Talking to God almighty might also means praying...

Since these few days when my darling is not by my side, I talk to Him alot... Tell Him lots of my problems... The difference between talking to Him and talking to my friends are, He is able to help me... And i know he listens and help me... He always does... He give me so many wonderful things... just because i tell Him i wanted those things... My darling also tell me that He enjoys talking to us... He enjoys it all the time... Even though i talk to Him late at night... He is always there beside me... To help me, to lift me up... He is there to guide me in my studies and there to make me feel less bored... In fact he is better then any human around... He is with me all the time, never parted with me... Not even for a second... He is just sooo dear to me.

Even though i'm a new christian.... I don't know how to speak in tongue nor i can hear his voice or what he is saying, but somehow i feel nice... nice and calm... at His presence... He make everything good and nice for me... Such a Good Father He is... He provide me with all the things i need... he keep me save from the devil and his demons, he let me sleep through the night without interuptions... He stay with me when i'm scared... I love him more then anyone in this world for He is my God, my father and my friend...

I love me, I love you, I love... who??

2006-11-15T23:11:00.000+08:00

Ok... This post is typed out of boredom... So it doesn't matter what the title is... Well, maybe it has something to do with the title, maybe not, maybe alittle, maybe... Well, i dunno.

Back to the point, my darling is not here to chat with me... He is out for dinner with his pet sisters. So, i decided not to sit around looking at the 4 walls or the meaningless, stupid friendster or the mail and write this post. Ohhh... I had make a habit of visiting friendster and i'm not happy at it. Only stupid people who is a pathetic friends monger will hang around friendsters for hours every single day!!! And sadly to say, my sister is one of them... Ohhh.... not to say i trash my own sister but she will be categorized as those ah lians wanna be sooner or later.... Gosh, she fancy ah lians stuff and say they are fashionable and nice. But then watever, who cares... It's her life and if she wanted to be label as ah lians wannabe, i'll be fine... none of my business.

Ohh yea... I came to me that my dear says that currently a lot of people are "interested in me"... Since i have nothing to do, i'll describe these guys and soon you'll know that he is just tooo sensitive...

Ok... First, there is this guy that has a beak instead of a mouth and he is well... he is unattractive and unpleasent. Sure enough we are friends... And we'll stay as friends. He once given me a key chains which i untactfully give it back to him... Well, the key chain is ugly... the design, the picture of it... the picture iis a horrid girl... Those like in a scary movie... In which of course he say it as a give to show his love for me. But think a gain is he really showing his love or friendship???

Then, there is this guy that didn't bath which my dear love, in his opinion in love with me... This guy, which i found impossible to fell in love with me is because he like girls that are in uniforms, cute, and in another words childish.. As in those Japanese girls and those manga characters. And a guy who watches hentai like forever will surely fell in love with those characters rather then me.

Beside these two... He also suspecteda shorty loves me... And worse, uses a dirty trick to get me. But this poor guy is just come to me and tell me about the girl he admire... Everyone knows it and therefore it's not such a big deal. According to my darling, he is trying to ask me to help him to get the girl in order to get near me and waiting for the right time to tell me that he likes me. How could that possibly happen as he never ask me out or tell it to me privately...

Finally, there is this indian mix chinese... Send me a testi in friendster that is actually a song... Probably some of them will think that it is a cool thing to give... For me it's extremely lame. Well, the testi is about i dunno... rod stewart song probably some sentimental songs. And he ask me to follow to his dorm to take note from him... How could this possibly called as like or love. Seriously....

So, that's about it... Ohhh... something that make my blood boil... as i was roaming in friendster (could not believe i am doing it) i saw the profile of the malicious girl who my darling hurt so much and she actually said she doesn't want to make any friends as those friends used her... And i was like it's supposed to be the other way round u idiotic b*tch. Who does she think she is??? She is not pretty, not tall and not smart... In fact she doesn't possess all the quality that make up a girl... Which also maens she is not one... Which in another words, she is a hideous old witch hag... Those with the missing tooth and filthy as wee seen in movie... She falls into that category...

Oh... finally, been able to ley it all out... Happy to do that. Later.

God's Wonderful Miracle

2006-11-15T15:34:00.000+08:00

I'm sure a lot of people have receive better then me... As i see in a documentary, people get heal from AIDS, deadly cancer just gone in a few days.... Those are the miracle that God perform so that we believe in him, so that we'll follow His ways. For me... well, compared to all those healings, what God gave me might be small but it meant a lot for me... It make me realize that God is Almighty....

I can still remember when I wasn't a Christian... I was having a scholarship problem... My darling, that time who is still my pet brother help me to pray for my scholarship back... He keep asking me to believe. I was thinking no harm believing.... I was saying in my heart if He really exist, then give me my scholarship back.... True enough the scholarship is still with me.

Since i become a Christian... I always pray, ask for good result in my quiz and exams... My chemistry.... Last sem i used to get marks that are good.... not extremely bad but not very good either. Now.... I get full marks almost everytime. The same applies to my econs.... I know i'm going to get low mark but i pray n tried to act as if God already answered my prayer... true enough i got a good mark in my econs.

And the most recent incident happened yesterday. Because of my carelessness, i left my wallet in the bus. My darling pray for me and i pray in my heart and when we enter the bus we found it. The bus driver say we are lucky but in my heart i know it's God's work.

All this things might be small for you but it's a miracle that God did. It's His special way of saying He's here, He listens and He'll give... All the prayers that he answered just tell us He is the Almighty.

First Day

2006-11-07T17:44:00.000+08:00

Today is the first day my darling went back to his home for the sem brake holiday... I'm sad and lonely here at colloge.... Everything seems to pass so slowly... Everything seems to be meaning less.
The days with him passed so fast... So many things happened. Happy ones, sad ones, funny ones, memorable ones...

The sem start off when we were going to Genting... The first day we were there is in 31st... Everything seems to be simple and nice... The time when we share instant noodles in mugs... To the time he walk at night in around the city and kiss me gently as my birthday arrive... He bought me a ring... A nice ring... I can still remember as we are standing near the window as we were getting ready to go out... He ask me to look at the mirror and look at my reflection. "You are a pretty girl..." That's what he said. All i saw is an amazing guy standing behind me, hugging me. He make me feel wanted, alive and happy...

Coming back to college... we had our orientation and somehow i ended up with him in the same team at last. Lots of trials and sadness went in our way... Heart break almost every week... constant crying... shutting of phone... misunderstanding... All the misunderstanding seems to lead us apart but somehow, after we make up our relationship felt stronger. There is once after the misunderstandings i felt like i have been dating this guy for a few years.

We made alot of memories this sem... The cold joke i told him... which he still remind me now and then saying he turned into ice. The day of the ball... He look stunning... His purfume that he applied blend into his body... The smell is just sooo dream like... The black attire fit his nicely like his second skin. There is also times when we sit besides the road... relaxing, talk... occasionally me looking at his beautiful face. Even now the hugs and the kisses we share before was so real i could almost feel his hand... Just that he is not here.

Expecting him to be there... To be in the canteen after my class... Things just change... Now i went to the canteen only to find myself in dissapointment... He is not there... He won't be there for another two months. Sometimes i really hope he will be here with me... He would show up after my class finish like he used to... Somehow i hope i'll see him.

Using and being used

2006-11-02T00:56:00.001+08:00

Since my darling wants me to write a long long post for him to read and well, since he's the only one that reads my blog, i decided i shall do as what he wants. To begin with, i have no specific intention of writing any topic... so i shall blog what comes in my mind and what i thought at this particular moment.

What comes in my mind now is a girl that is despise by my darling... She which i shall call her Y is known to take advantage out of people she knew. Well,

she might be a happy girl with a carefree mind if only she was a little bit refine in her skills of using people

... Too bad she is not and therefore she have to bare with the consequences... and i myself thinks that she'll pays a heavier price if she continues... I found flaws inside her ways of using people and if she hadn't commited those wrong-doings, she would still have friends and lots of friends.

She gone way far of using people... You don't use people 24-7....
She is a stupid girl... Shouldn't let anyone you are using to know that you are using them.
She is a way stupid girl. Should throw people that u might need to used away causing them to be angry or hate you.

That's about it. The difference between me and her is that i don't need people and therefore i can break as much relationship as i want. It is true since i don't need them in all my others science subjects and i would rather much depend on myself. But it's not her using people nature that i hated her. Mind you, i used her as she would used me... Our relation would be considered as sharing or a fair trade, whatever terms that u might found appealing. But it's her attitude of letting people down is what i hate in her. If she let other normal, stupid, pathetic guys down.... It's perfectly fine by me. But the one she lets down was my only dear darling....

How stupid, idiotic, out-of-her-own-mind could she be. She is the one who told my dear to buy two tickets for her. TWO tickets for the concert. Now she told us that she couldn't go for her parents are having a holiday and how she wished she could go... How absent minded do she thinks we could be. Or maybe she is the one who is sooo unsensitive to ignore the fact that the world is not stupid.... Or thinks that she is not the genius or miss super mastermind...

An ah lian like her must learns things the hard way and she shall learn it for when she needed help, there won't be any... She will learn that the world doesn't revolves around her but she is the part of the world that revolves around GOD... She will learn that using people will only hurt herself more then a knife that will cause a mortal wound.

She is lucky for she is dealing with my darling and me and harmless people in the college....
Someday, somehow... She'll regret what she have done.

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

2006-11-01T08:16:00.000+08:00

Time pass real fast. From the time i went to Genting with my darling celebrating my birthday to the day of the ball and now is the end of the sem for my darling. On this day, my darling is having his exams. I prayed for him yesterday night. He sms around 5 saying he couldn't sleep. I prayed that he'll be alright.

Gambate!!!! Do well in your exams and make everyone proud...

See the girl on the left, that's me!!!!! Well, sort of me when i was in the ball... Hahahaha.... The dress looks a bit like Indian, but really, who cares for my darling says i'm the prettiest girl around. Who would mind how they look like when they were praised by thier lover that they are beautiful?

And we will be going for Planetshakers Conference.... Yay!!!!! Me and my darling. We even paid for the fees already. Can't wait to go for i like their songs very much.

Besides the Planetshakers conference, we are going to Hillsong United concert. Un fortunately, we haven't buy the tickets yet. Just pray that they'll have tickets just for us. I'll update soon.... Have to get ready for class...

Just for my darling

2006-10-23T13:08:00.000+08:00

Time pass too fast for me... My darling sem is ending soon. For your info, my darling is in short sem while i'm in the long sem. Haiz... I'm going to miss him soooooooooo much.

Oh yea... I'm going to Hillsong United's concert. Darling is going there too... But he probably cannot meet me. His family might go. So, i go with a dirt.... The one with sharp mouth and have a hobby of keping porn. But seriously, he's as safe as a dove.

Now, as i writing this, my darling is packing his bag... Going to Terengganu or K. Selangor, i think... He he he he... I will be happy if he did get me sea shells as a gift. I like to keep his gifts. Maybe i'll get a box to keep all his gifts in it, what do you think? He got a box where he keep all his petsisters photo in. Well, i'm doing to same :)

An if you are wondering if my darling is romantic or not, i tell you he is romantic down the core. I'll show you few of his sms.... It's sooo sweet, you'll feels like floating.

Luv u alot... realli miss u... sweet dreams n sms me whn u wake up

AND

Whn tht day comes i wil nt ask u 2 b my gf... i'll ask u 2 marry me

Sweet rite ;)

he's soooo handsome and romantic....

A Tribute to Man Best Friend

2006-10-11T09:20:00.000+08:00

The post is dedicated to my beloved dog, Rocky. Rocky had just been sent away for attacking my grandma. My dad sent him to a waterfall area near my house. It's sad to see him leave us. Rocky is closest to me compare to the other dogs that my family has. I'm the one that play with it, that pamper it, that craddle it when it was still a puppy. He's a funny pup. Last time, he used to response to his name when he is called and when my family called me, he'll response also. He's so gentle and playful... I don't know why he grew up to be violent.

He attack my grandma a few times.... maybe like what everyone told me, he wants some freedom. He used to be very cute. When he was a puppy, he has flappy ears... then one of them stands up and later the other follows. He has great strengh for his small size. When he walk, he looks so cute for his legs are always too far apart.... What one might say that he walks like a king.

Now, i really don't know what happened to him. maybe as i was typing this he is starving or being bully by other dogs... God, you gave him to me a few years ago... Now, it has return to you. Please Lord, take good care of him. Let him free of harm and danger. Let food and water be there for him when he needed it. Please protect it.

He'll be a part of my history that i'll remember and treasure, for he is my special dog. Rocky.... Good bye.

No Harm Giving it Another Try

2006-10-10T16:51:00.000+08:00

About my relationship... I guess it doesn't kill to give it another turn. To be better. I'll try my best to love him. Give my best to him. So, will, update our relationship from time to time.

So, back to my life, last Sunday, I went to City Harvest Church with my darling. it was a good church, nice surroundings. Well, better then all those churches I've seen in Brickfields. It was a pentecostal church which is why it has a fresh teenage vibe in it. The pastor is quite a funny speaker. I get to be close to god. Somehow.... i had a strange feeling. In the middle of the sermon where he talks about praying, I felt like somehow I can speak in tongue, but something is barring it from coming out. Like something put a stop in it when it is in my chest. Weird... I never had this kind of feeling before. I have never ever have this kind of feeling before. Maybe i just think too much. Another thing, i don't felt the presence of god as strong as when i'm listening to Christian songs in my room or sometimes when i pray in my room or even when i listen to a sermon with my love. Of all those events, i felt god the strongest is when i'm in my love's room, listening to a sermon about sex before marriage. Weird.... I don't feel god so much in the church. Or maybe again, i think too much.

Now, in my studies, my Econs is going down the drain.... Have to do something fast. Borrowed a book from the library... Hope it'll help me. For my socialogy, i already started my assignment. Again, god, please work your wonder on me, let me understands what i read..... chemistry quiz is on this Friday. Hope i'll make through it too.

Our group for the orientation is going down the drain again. The group leader is not commited enough. I've let go of any hope of winning.

Oh yea... There is something on my wish list. A pink bible... It's so nice, attract me once i look at it. However, it's expensive... Around Rm80. From now, i'll try to save for it. Hope i can get it before i go to the planetshaker's conference. Another thing is that i wish i can go to the conference... It crash with my exam week. sad sad sad....

That's all for now, i guess.... my love have just finish class.... Maybe going to meet him. Keep you up to date with my life when i have the time. Later.

When ends just couldn't meet

2006-10-03T18:43:00.000+08:00

I'm into a big trouble. While typing all these letters out my stomach calls out for food. Nowadays i don't have enough money. Can't blame anyone, it's me who spend too much. What a spend thrift i was!!! Ohh, well, it means i have to bear the consequences- a meal a day. I'm only left with RM30 and it supposed to last until next week Wednesday. Haiz...

I'm such a money spender. Sometimes hate myself for spendiing so much. Guess after this, i should control myself and eat 2 meals instead of 3.

Well, that was least of my problems. I got problem with him too. He wanted to spend some time with me at night and i say no to him. I guess it's the right desicion since i can't afford to waste my energy so much as i'll get hungry easily. So, tonight, i'll stay in room, probably go and make milo or cook the expired Maggi.

When i'm with him, i keep thinking about the msn message. I still can't forget it. How could i forget those cruel words? Have to cheer up infront of him when i'm not happy at all is hard. He hated me to be sad. I did try hard not to up to a point i really believe that not meeting him is the best way. When i'm with him, he'll surely ask me to eat. The question is, How to eat when you don't even have enough money to go through for another week.

As for our relationship... i don't know, i'm really lost. I love him but there's just something wrong. Maybe it's because of his insensitiveness or probably because he wouldn't want to make me his girlfriend. Anyhow, i couldn't blame him for it. How could he understands me when i don't even tell him about me? How could he make me my girl when his future is at stakes? Moreover, i myself tell him not to make me one. It's the best way for him, for his ever-so-high petsisters, for his mom, for me... Especially for me. Why make more problem for myself when i already have tonnes of it.

Still feeling hungry. Maybe i'll sleep then make milo. Later.

Sad, Sad, Sad....

2006-10-03T09:45:00.000+08:00

Yesterday just had an argument with him. I don't even know why, but nowadays always argue with him, fight with him. It hurts alot to broke his heart but i keep doing it. Anyway, yesterday, when we are msning, a friend of mine sms me and told me to go and listen to a talk or discussion from Elken, a direct sales company. So, i told him about it through msn and he ask me not to go. We chat for a while when we started to bitch about that friend of mine. He told me she's not a good christian and i asked why. Him, instead of not answering my questions says that he suspect me with that girl coz i keep asking him. I still have the message... it's something like this:

demon hunter says:
cant wait meh
demon hunter says:
if ur too desprate to noe
demon hunter says:
i haf every right to suspect u r her

I was furious that he suspected me to be my friend... Why don't he trust me? I really don't know myself for i'm too sad to think about that matter. Then, he continue to say that he's not saying he suspect me when i'm in anger. He say he suspected my friend not me.

Later i make up with him, but it's the bad feeling is still here. I'm still hurt over that comment. No matter how many times he apologise, it don't seem to fade away...

Busy, busy busy.....

2006-09-19T13:58:00.000+08:00

Nowadays i'm sooo busy with my life that i hardly have the time to blog. And why is that so; you might ask? Well, it's partly because of my love and school....

You see, i spend all my free time with him... And i mean ALL.... The only time i'm not with him is when i'm in class and washroom. Hahaha.... Back to the point, i'm not that happy nowadays. My love is sad and i have a dream that'll never see the light of the day.

Ever since i'm a little girl, i have always hope to have a life like those in a fairy tale. Prince charming will appear in my life, he'll bring me to a ball and ask me to be with him forever.... People will be happy for us, people will be jealous for i have a prince's heart. Just like Cinderella on her first ball. Then i shall be his bride.... Live happily ever after. Well, all those will just be a shattered dreams. My prince is here... but he won't ask me that question on my first ball. The course of the story have change. It won't be a fairy tale anymore. All my life i've been living hard to the dream and suddenly all of it is gone.

And it's not my prince fault. You see, when he heard about my dreams he wanted to realise it. It's me who say no... i don't want him to be my bf. He'll be unfaithful, he'll compare me with other girl, he'll hurt me, he'll break my heart, he'll judge me... When that time comes he wouldn't love me anymore for he will be treating me like an object. He say he'll change but the heart of a human.... Human yearns to remain the same.... Changing is difficult. Being a new being with different characteristic is difficult.

I think i'm in darkness now. Being with him the whole day but i couldn't feel his presence as strong as before. Not to say i don't have feeling for him anymore... I do.... In fact i love him and adore him very much. It just feels like i'm in a pitch dark place with no light to shine my way. He used to be my light... He used to light up my way. Now, i felt liek i'm lost, felt like i'm drowning... I'm not really sure what causes this. Part of it is bacause he's always sad... part of it is because i started to lost control... I ruined alot of things with my own bare hand. I ruin my life, friendship... I'm really scare if i ruin him one day... I'm already started to act like a b*tch infront of him. I'm very unstable nowadays.

Today, as i'm having my lunch, a dirt flew past me and give me my birthday present. I don't even care.... Stupid people like him just annoys me... People like him make me sad, make me angry, make me uncontrolable.... The only thing that can subdue this feeling is christians song... So i listen to them throughout the time.... Then someone whom i love annoys me, give comment because i listen to those songs. It's really not any nasty comment. In fact, it came out the joking way. I don't even know why it hurt me so much. I got soo angry and yet i hide it up and continue to act stupid in front of them.

Now i feel extremely sad... I don't want to meet anyone.... Not even the one that i love. Maybe i need some time out from all this things. I hate my life now. He keep making me sad.... I keep making myself sad... Stupid people keep making me sad....

I've think about all this things for a long time... Maybe i should be mature... maybe i should grow up and stop being a child anymore. Maybe i should stop making a fool of myself infront of these people. Being mature sounds to be a good solution.... Sounds that it'll get me out of troubles... Stop acting like a kid in front of my love.... Stop doing all those stupid stuff that i used to do with him. Maybe that's the way.......

For now, all i need is a time out. A time out from everything for i'm tired of everything even my relationship with my love. Until i find my betterself, that's what i'll do..... Stop mixing witht hem too often.

As Time Passes By...

2006-09-11T01:36:00.000+08:00

Very sad now.... Sad things happened frequently. I don't even know why myself... Maybe life is just unfair or maybe life is short.... I've just been told of an extremely bad news... Rev. K. Sri Dharmananda passed away during the independence day....

I felt really sad over this.... Sad and regret... While people in kl were mourning over his loss, me an ignorant fool is enjoying herself.... Deck herself with happiness, with fun, with unnessesary etertainment. i don't even know why i'm soo sad about it. I mean it the serious way. I don't really know him. For me, he's just another monk... But some how, deep inside me i felt sad like he's always a good friend, someone i known for a long long time. He seems to have the happy face that always cheers people up. I always felt happy when i saw his delicate face. All my sorrows just fades away. Tears just flow from my eyes when i heard that he's gone. i cried in the arms of my love... i cried in the arms of God... I pray for him to go to heaven even though it is impossible as my love say only good christians go to heavan. Still, i made this silent prayer that he'll be with God... Foolish of me right?

He always seems to understand.... Which makes me imagine what would he say if i told him i want to be a christian. Unlike my mom or other family member who will say NO, he would probably ask me to follow my heart. To go for any religion as long as i do good.... as long as i have a pure mind... he would give me his blessings.

To know that someone as pure as him to be gone is a great lost to humankind... He served humanity for all his life... He helped coountless people, give happiness to all... and now once and for all the world will have to go on without him... From now on, i won't be able to see his smiling face, to see his radient skin...

Still deep in my heart i'm not willing to let him go... A great man with great compassion....

My first week....

2006-09-08T15:34:00.000+08:00

It's my first week in the college after i came back from my lovely holiday in Genting. And it's sure a busy day....

That's coz i became a counsellor for the new orientation programme. It's really a tiring job. See, i start off by a briefing and then followed by the ice breakers, treasure hunt and lastly telematch.

Now have to concentrate on my studies and the masquerade ball as i'm also in the charity department... Ohh and a drama....

Haiz.... And i discover i have some of my time table crash.... Damn it.... And the chemistry teacher already started class. maybe i'll drop math and take LANS.... Haiyo, haedache....

Later.

Useless guys in my college

2006-09-08T15:13:00.000+08:00

Ok.... So in my college there's a bunch of useless guys.... In this post, i'm going to tell it all out.

Firstly, it's my ex. I dated him not because i'm attracted to him... More because i'm just bored at that moment and i'm in a stupid competition. He's the worst guy around. Hurt the heart of my love... If ever killing is legal, i'm kill and torture him with my bare hands. Anyway, he's a shorty and has an uninteresting voice. He has a voice of a duck and always thinks he has a good and nice voice. Ohh.... His biceps are sooo uncool. It looks fake. And i mean it FAKE.... Imagine a human with unnatural bumps on his arms... And the most important one, he's a jerk. Always thinks he's popular.... Duh, please wake up and stop dreaming.... He's soo unpopular and he don't even have a group. And he's different from me. I don't have a group in college but i always have one outside the college. THE MOST UNFORGIVEABLE ACT HE HAS DONE.... BEING AN ASSHOLE. He give out my number as if it's the right thing to do.... And he call my love a ham sap kia when in reality he's the ham sap kia. HATE HIM!!!!!!! If i'm not a Christian, i would have kill him. Idiotic, stupid asshole.

Next to it is a guy who doesn't bath for days.... He didn't even brush his teeth.... And for goodness sake, he curse like a million times. Overall, he's a loser as well as a dirt to me. I don't really hate him that much but sometimes he really annoys me. Like how he thinks he's a computer genius when there's other who is better then him. He's a total outcast in the society.

The third one is another ham sap kia.... Pc have dozens of porn and hentai... And my love say he has a sharp mouth which i agree. And he has new target each sem and he's in the college for years as long as i remember. But don't really hate him like that asshole who hurt my love but still don't like him.

Lastly, there are those who hurt my love and i hate them.... One of them is sooo unethical in life that he tell others my love secrets and he gossip about him.

That's all about it i guess..... Going to add some more if i happened to come across them.

A Trip to Genting

2006-09-04T14:48:00.000+08:00

And so, we went to Genting and have a happy holiday... Feels like a dream come true? Not really.... Reality is always harsh. We did have a great time there but sad things keep coming. He's not happy, i'm not that happy.... Anyway, we went up on the 31 August... Independence day and celebrated my birthday there.

During that time, we invented a brand new way of making instant noodles... We prepared it with hot water and 4 mugs and eat them with tea spoon.... Then he bought me a slice of cheese cake and i'm 18...

Ohhh.... And we sleep in the same bed, he hug me and it felt soo close and warm and gentle and nice. Later my birthday, i got a ring as my birthday present which i like very much and it is in my left middle finger. Too bad things get spoiled when a dirt sms me. stupid fool that doesn't leave people alone. Haiz... Then he got sad thinking about his pet sisters and his ex girl friend.

And the trip ended. So fast and simple. But i enjoyed it really much. Get to see all those glorious flowers. The pretty flowers with soft petals take most of my worries off me. Really like to look at those. It felt strange but it always does the trick.

At last, we took one last look at those flowers and headed back to kl... A place with cold harsh realities. And coming back makes me unhappy... I made him cry by crying myself... I'm such a fool.... Somehow got to change that.

Now, i'm worrying about my scholarships and my result.... Hope i get a good one. Maybe i'll geet, who knows?

Another day...

2006-08-29T20:29:00.000+08:00

Didn't post for a long time... Why? Too busy. It's really a busy holiday...

Do so many things... So many incidents happened.

Let's start by me working. Yes... I work, in PC Fair... It was hard job. Stand the whole day, cold surroundings, legs ache... But something happy happened... My brother visited me during one of the day. But too bad he only stay for a while. I really hope he stay longer.

Then, my brother went to the doctor and he's unhappy. I feel sad too. He's having those attacks quite frequently. Then i spent most of the days with him... Going to Times Square, Pudu Plaza where we have stim boat, Ampang Park, The Japanese Library... Tired but happy...

Then i have my period problems. Didn't come for a few months. Go for doctor and all i can do is wait. But lucky it came at last.

I got a sad news after that... my brother broke up with his gal. He's extremely sad but i can do nothing to cheer him up. I felt like i'm useless...

Not long after that, a guy confess to me. I can't make another mistake like i did last time... Accepting a guy that i have no feelings and up to some point, hated. I confessed to the guy i love... He's in a sad mood at that time, say i'm too good to be his gal... But he say he feels the same way about me. I rejected the boy for him...

Now, i'm writing this after a tiring day in Petaling Street. Going back to college tomorrow with the man i love. Then, we'll go to Genting together, to celebrate my birthday. Can't wait for that day to come... That'll be the happiest day in my life.

Problem Week...

2006-07-31T16:00:00.000+08:00

This week is full of problems. I know it's kindda passive to say it that way... But it is really problems. I can't group them as challeges. Even now the pc is giving me problems. Hard to press the keys in the keyboard. Haiz...

Btw, back to my life... On last Monday night, a guy just text me and say he would like to know me. I don't even know how he get my number. I meet him and he say it's the jerk, my ex give it to him. I was furious at that time. I couldn't believe that jerk would do that. My oniisan went to him and ask him about it but found out that he's drunk. It turn out that he's not when I went to him for further explaination. My blood boiled at that time. No one would know how much I wanted to kill him. Lucky oniisan warned that guy(his name is Theodore i think) off. Now when that guy saw me near Mervin's block, he'll disturb me. Showing off with his Gen 2. Come on... it just a fucking Gen 2. Don't show it off to me as if I've never seen a better car in my life. I've been in a BMW 7 Series okay... So don't joke with me.

Well, besides that, my oniisan got breathing difficulty. Had alot of attack this week. I'm so worried about him. That boy never took care of his own health. Haiz... My heaad is going to explode. Too make matter worst, this Wednesday is my finals.

I haven't read my stuff last week. Starting this day. Maybe later. Now surfing that net. If there's such thing called devas or suzaku or seiryuu or genbu or byankko, please help me this time.

Later... I'm going to surf around the net for a while before i start studying.

Just another day

2006-07-24T17:14:00.000+08:00

I have started a whole new blog again... Sorry Aimee for not writing for so long. It just that too many things happened lately. From now on, I shall faithfully blog for the sake of myself.

Today... Funny day I might put it. Why? Coz I didn't fell asleep during Dr. Samuel's class... It's like a fairy tale came true right? Never thought I would have full concentration during his class.

Ok... The next funny stuff. I bet you know about my ex right? Well, today when I was chilling out in the canteen, suddenly I saw an ah-beng wannabe coming to me. When I realise it was him, I blurted the word "OH MY GOD!!!!". He has this ugly looking hair that make him looks like a Down Syndrome guy. Phew... Lucky i ditch him fast. Imagine if I'm still his gf... i would no longer found a place that accept me in this big big world.

Well, move on the the happy stuff... For my public speaking last presentation, I got 25 over 30. Cool right? Never thought I would get such a high marks. I was not really prepared for the speech. I did put alot of effort on the slide show, but none to the way I would deliver my speech. It didn't came out the way I wanted. Nevertheless, everything is now okay.

Last... I got a pet brother. Never got any of them before. So I'm still not quite used to it. Calling someone that I knew so recently as brother. I think it's the word brother I'm not used to. Now I call him as onisan. He hated that... When I wanted to tease him I would call him ototo-kun. It means little brother. And don't anyone ever thhink that is mean. He is meaner. Tease me everyday, bully me. :(

Ohh.... And some funny stuff my sister told me... It's really funny. She just told me my little brother fell off during tuition.... Actually not that funny but the friend next to him fell as well and he grab something near him to keep him from falling. Guess what he grab? A girl's skirt.... Hahahaha....

I think that's all for today. Later.