My First Concert....

Well, it's not my first concert but it's my first christian concert.... Concert for God by Hillsong United.... I'm so exited for the concert... Can't believe that I've been to the concert....

My day started out normally.... Going to class, waiting for the bus... But one thing that is different is that i'm thrilled.... It's their first time here and it's mine too.... My first time meeting them in person. I used to listen to their songs and i felt God...

So, i meet my darling in Asia Jaya Station where we went to SIBKL together. First, we went to the workshop... A Sri Lankan... He is kinnda good preacher, i guess... Nevertheless, i enjoyed it soooo much... He talk about leadership and his encounter with some nerds in a wierd place...

Then, the United band come and we have a brief Q&A session.... They look like great people... Great people that do God's will....They look so different from you and me. How i wish one day i'll be like them... Serve God without boundaries....

So, the concert starts... Before that, as usual.... We have to wait outside the hall... From 6 till 7.30pm.... But it is all worth while when you finally went in and know that God will be there... Where God is there to be with you... It is always worth it.

I don't really know if i felt the presence of God... But at certain point when i raise up my hand, it felt warm... Well, it's again maybe me... Ohhh.... and somewhere down in between my chest.... I felt something... Feeling like anxious but it's not in the heart it's somewhere a bit lower... Hahaha.... my imagination again..... It's really nice... Not that loud but nice....

Even though i might not felt God, or maybe i do... Well, all i can say is i know God is there and he hears all my prayer.... He'll answer then somehow.... He'll work his miricles on me, he'll make me a success human in this life and he'll surely save me.... I realise i really love God. He's my everything... He's my friend, he's my breath, he's my father and he's in me....

After everything, we had dinner and went to my darling's house for a night. His mon don't quite like us.... But i get to look at little darling.... I guess that makes it up for that.... Besides... the one that i love is my darling and not his mom.... but really, shouldn't show ppl my bad attitude... should change that... Hehehe.... It'll be gone soon, my bad attitude.... Jesus will take all away.

Talking to Jesus

I know it may sound absurd to those non christians... but i know we can really talk to God... If i were still a buddhist like i used to, i would say those that say they r talking to god is just talking to themselves... Talking to God almighty might also means praying...

Since these few days when my darling is not by my side, I talk to Him alot... Tell Him lots of my problems... The difference between talking to Him and talking to my friends are, He is able to help me... And i know he listens and help me... He always does... He give me so many wonderful things... just because i tell Him i wanted those things... My darling also tell me that He enjoys talking to us... He enjoys it all the time... Even though i talk to Him late at night... He is always there beside me... To help me, to lift me up... He is there to guide me in my studies and there to make me feel less bored... In fact he is better then any human around... He is with me all the time, never parted with me... Not even for a second... He is just sooo dear to me.

Even though i'm a new christian.... I don't know how to speak in tongue nor i can hear his voice or what he is saying, but somehow i feel nice... nice and calm... at His presence... He make everything good and nice for me... Such a Good Father He is... He provide me with all the things i need... he keep me save from the devil and his demons, he let me sleep through the night without interuptions... He stay with me when i'm scared... I love him more then anyone in this world for He is my God, my father and my friend...

I love me, I love you, I love... who??

Ok... This post is typed out of boredom... So it doesn't matter what the title is... Well, maybe it has something to do with the title, maybe not, maybe alittle, maybe... Well, i dunno.

Back to the point, my darling is not here to chat with me... He is out for dinner with his pet sisters. So, i decided not to sit around looking at the 4 walls or the meaningless, stupid friendster or the mail and write this post. Ohhh... I had make a habit of visiting friendster and i'm not happy at it. Only stupid people who is a pathetic friends monger will hang around friendsters for hours every single day!!! And sadly to say, my sister is one of them... Ohhh.... not to say i trash my own sister but she will be categorized as those ah lians wanna be sooner or later.... Gosh, she fancy ah lians stuff and say they are fashionable and nice. But then watever, who cares... It's her life and if she wanted to be label as ah lians wannabe, i'll be fine... none of my business.

Ohh yea... I came to me that my dear says that currently a lot of people are "interested in me"... Since i have nothing to do, i'll describe these guys and soon you'll know that he is just tooo sensitive...

Ok... First, there is this guy that has a beak instead of a mouth and he is well... he is unattractive and unpleasent. Sure enough we are friends... And we'll stay as friends. He once given me a key chains which i untactfully give it back to him... Well, the key chain is ugly... the design, the picture of it... the picture iis a horrid girl... Those like in a scary movie... In which of course he say it as a give to show his love for me. But think a gain is he really showing his love or friendship???

Then, there is this guy that didn't bath which my dear love, in his opinion in love with me... This guy, which i found impossible to fell in love with me is because he like girls that are in uniforms, cute, and in another words childish.. As in those Japanese girls and those manga characters. And a guy who watches hentai like forever will surely fell in love with those characters rather then me.

Beside these two... He also suspecteda shorty loves me... And worse, uses a dirty trick to get me. But this poor guy is just come to me and tell me about the girl he admire... Everyone knows it and therefore it's not such a big deal. According to my darling, he is trying to ask me to help him to get the girl in order to get near me and waiting for the right time to tell me that he likes me. How could that possibly happen as he never ask me out or tell it to me privately...

Finally, there is this indian mix chinese... Send me a testi in friendster that is actually a song... Probably some of them will think that it is a cool thing to give... For me it's extremely lame. Well, the testi is about i dunno... rod stewart song probably some sentimental songs. And he ask me to follow to his dorm to take note from him... How could this possibly called as like or love. Seriously....

So, that's about it... Ohhh... something that make my blood boil... as i was roaming in friendster (could not believe i am doing it) i saw the profile of the malicious girl who my darling hurt so much and she actually said she doesn't want to make any friends as those friends used her... And i was like it's supposed to be the other way round u idiotic b*tch. Who does she think she is??? She is not pretty, not tall and not smart... In fact she doesn't possess all the quality that make up a girl... Which also maens she is not one... Which in another words, she is a hideous old witch hag... Those with the missing tooth and filthy as wee seen in movie... She falls into that category...

Oh... finally, been able to ley it all out... Happy to do that. Later.

God's Wonderful Miracle

I'm sure a lot of people have receive better then me... As i see in a documentary, people get heal from AIDS, deadly cancer just gone in a few days.... Those are the miracle that God perform so that we believe in him, so that we'll follow His ways. For me... well, compared to all those healings, what God gave me might be small but it meant a lot for me... It make me realize that God is Almighty....

I can still remember when I wasn't a Christian... I was having a scholarship problem... My darling, that time who is still my pet brother help me to pray for my scholarship back... He keep asking me to believe. I was thinking no harm believing.... I was saying in my heart if He really exist, then give me my scholarship back.... True enough the scholarship is still with me.

Since i become a Christian... I always pray, ask for good result in my quiz and exams... My chemistry.... Last sem i used to get marks that are good.... not extremely bad but not very good either. Now.... I get full marks almost everytime. The same applies to my econs.... I know i'm going to get low mark but i pray n tried to act as if God already answered my prayer... true enough i got a good mark in my econs.

And the most recent incident happened yesterday. Because of my carelessness, i left my wallet in the bus. My darling pray for me and i pray in my heart and when we enter the bus we found it. The bus driver say we are lucky but in my heart i know it's God's work.

All this things might be small for you but it's a miracle that God did. It's His special way of saying He's here, He listens and He'll give... All the prayers that he answered just tell us He is the Almighty.

First Day

Today is the first day my darling went back to his home for the sem brake holiday... I'm sad and lonely here at colloge.... Everything seems to pass so slowly... Everything seems to be meaning less.
The days with him passed so fast... So many things happened. Happy ones, sad ones, funny ones, memorable ones...

The sem start off when we were going to Genting... The first day we were there is in 31st... Everything seems to be simple and nice... The time when we share instant noodles in mugs... To the time he walk at night in around the city and kiss me gently as my birthday arrive... He bought me a ring... A nice ring... I can still remember as we are standing near the window as we were getting ready to go out... He ask me to look at the mirror and look at my reflection. "You are a pretty girl..." That's what he said. All i saw is an amazing guy standing behind me, hugging me. He make me feel wanted, alive and happy...

Coming back to college... we had our orientation and somehow i ended up with him in the same team at last. Lots of trials and sadness went in our way... Heart break almost every week... constant crying... shutting of phone... misunderstanding... All the misunderstanding seems to lead us apart but somehow, after we make up our relationship felt stronger. There is once after the misunderstandings i felt like i have been dating this guy for a few years.

We made alot of memories this sem... The cold joke i told him... which he still remind me now and then saying he turned into ice. The day of the ball... He look stunning... His purfume that he applied blend into his body... The smell is just sooo dream like... The black attire fit his nicely like his second skin. There is also times when we sit besides the road... relaxing, talk... occasionally me looking at his beautiful face. Even now the hugs and the kisses we share before was so real i could almost feel his hand... Just that he is not here.

Expecting him to be there... To be in the canteen after my class... Things just change... Now i went to the canteen only to find myself in dissapointment... He is not there... He won't be there for another two months. Sometimes i really hope he will be here with me... He would show up after my class finish like he used to... Somehow i hope i'll see him.

Using and being used

Since my darling wants me to write a long long post for him to read and well, since he's the only one that reads my blog, i decided i shall do as what he wants. To begin with, i have no specific intention of writing any topic... so i shall blog what comes in my mind and what i thought at this particular moment.

What comes in my mind now is a girl that is despise by my darling... She which i shall call her Y is known to take advantage out of people she knew. Well,

she might be a happy girl with a carefree mind if only she was a little bit refine in her skills of using people

... Too bad she is not and therefore she have to bare with the consequences... and i myself thinks that she'll pays a heavier price if she continues... I found flaws inside her ways of using people and if she hadn't commited those wrong-doings, she would still have friends and lots of friends.

1. She gone way far of using people... You don't use people 24-7....
2. She is a stupid girl... Shouldn't let anyone you are using to know that you are using them.
3. She is a way stupid girl. Should throw people that u might need to used away causing them to be angry or hate you.

That's about it. The difference between me and her is that i don't need people and therefore i can break as much relationship as i want. It is true since i don't need them in all my others science subjects and i would rather much depend on myself. But it's not her using people nature that i hated her. Mind you, i used her as she would used me... Our relation would be considered as sharing or a fair trade, whatever terms that u might found appealing. But it's her attitude of letting people down is what i hate in her. If she let other normal, stupid, pathetic guys down.... It's perfectly fine by me. But the one she lets down was my only dear darling....

How stupid, idiotic, out-of-her-own-mind could she be. She is the one who told my dear to buy two tickets for her. TWO tickets for the concert. Now she told us that she couldn't go for her parents are having a holiday and how she wished she could go... How absent minded do she thinks we could be. Or maybe she is the one who is sooo unsensitive to ignore the fact that the world is not stupid.... Or thinks that she is not the genius or miss super mastermind...

An ah lian like her must learns things the hard way and she shall learn it for when she needed help, there won't be any... She will learn that the world doesn't revolves around her but she is the part of the world that revolves around GOD... She will learn that using people will only hurt herself more then a knife that will cause a mortal wound.

She is lucky for she is dealing with my darling and me and harmless people in the college....
Someday, somehow... She'll regret what she have done.

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Time pass real fast. From the time i went to Genting with my darling celebrating my birthday to the day of the ball and now is the end of the sem for my darling. On this day, my darling is having his exams. I prayed for him yesterday night. He sms around 5 saying he couldn't sleep. I prayed that he'll be alright.

Gambate!!!! Do well in your exams and make everyone proud...


See the girl on the left, that's me!!!!! Well, sort of me when i was in the ball... Hahahaha.... The dress looks a bit like Indian, but really, who cares for my darling says i'm the prettiest girl around. Who would mind how they look like when they were praised by thier lover that they are beautiful?

And we will be going for Planetshakers Conference.... Yay!!!!! Me and my darling. We even paid for the fees already. Can't wait to go for i like their songs very much.

Besides the Planetshakers conference, we are going to Hillsong United concert. Un fortunately, we haven't buy the tickets yet. Just pray that they'll have tickets just for us. I'll update soon.... Have to get ready for class...

Just for my darling

Time pass too fast for me... My darling sem is ending soon. For your info, my darling is in short sem while i'm in the long sem. Haiz... I'm going to miss him soooooooooo much.

Oh yea... I'm going to Hillsong United's concert. Darling is going there too... But he probably cannot meet me. His family might go. So, i go with a dirt.... The one with sharp mouth and have a hobby of keping porn. But seriously, he's as safe as a dove.

Now, as i writing this, my darling is packing his bag... Going to Terengganu or K. Selangor, i think... He he he he... I will be happy if he did get me sea shells as a gift. I like to keep his gifts. Maybe i'll get a box to keep all his gifts in it, what do you think? He got a box where he keep all his petsisters photo in. Well, i'm doing to same :)

An if you are wondering if my darling is romantic or not, i tell you he is romantic down the core. I'll show you few of his sms.... It's sooo sweet, you'll feels like floating.

Luv u alot... realli miss u... sweet dreams n sms me whn u wake up

AND

Whn tht day comes i wil nt ask u 2 b my gf... i'll ask u 2 marry me

Sweet rite ;)

he's soooo handsome and romantic....